I changed my story……… then changed my life
One evening I heard a very powerful man speak these amazing words.
“Change your story, change your life” I have often wondered to myself what my life would have been like if things had been different. Many times I had wished they had been. However, if that had been the case, then I would not have my children and my children are my biggest blessing!
For many years my life was filled with so much heartache that I did not want to live. So many parts of my childhood I don’t even remember. It’s the strangest thing, it’s just a big blank . After years of counseling, the counselors had explained to me that what I had experienced was called “blocking out” it’s what someone may choose to do when they have experienced a tragic event or have been subjected to one form or another of abuse. It was my way of surviving.
No longer am I a child, but a full grown woman. It has taken me a long time to recognize that I am a good woman, that I am beautiful, and am a good mom. What a revelation it was to know that I’m worthy of being loved, & that I was not responsible for the actions of someone violating me. I did not deserve not only the sexual abuse, but also the emotional abuse that went along with it. As years past, one of the most difficult things for me was being in the presence of these individuals. There was no longer any more physical abuse, but the emotional abuse still existed. Finally came the day when I had the courage to walk away and no longer allow myself to be abused. What these people thought or said, had no control over me. . In my heart I knew the truth, I had survived and so now my healing could finally start . It’s funny I use to feel less of a person because I did not live in their world, which consisted of who you knew, how much money you made, where you lived, & what clothes you wore or what kind of car you drove………I can tell you that none of those things were in the realm of my world & so therefore according to them, I was not worthy.
I have come to learn that the only person that determines my worthiness is me, and I am more than worthy!
So after decades of living a life that has been full of lies and continued abuse. I’ve chosen to live a life that is filled with truth,with peace, with love, in faith, & in trust.
I eliminated from my life the lies I had been told for years……….”I changed my story…….then changed my life”.